Have you ever found yourself at that place? You know the one. The one that makes you want to follow the bread crumb trail backwards. Back to the time and place you first found true love.
I remember the passion I felt after my first encounter with a real living God who knew me. I was in the word often. It felt like everything I read stuck. It resonated deep in my spirit. Now many years and disappointments later I must go back to the beginning. Like retracing my steps on a journey.
I wrote this passage in the front of my bible a couple days ago. Thirty years ago I had a new bible. It was the gift from a friend. It took me through many hours of curious investigation. It contained prophetic words, quotes from sermons over the years, and notes that could only mean something to me. “My first bible gone. Missing many years now. I’ve searched and not found it. I’ve wept over the loss because it was my heart and deeply personal. But today is a day to start fresh. A day to be free to walk again in those things I’ve been called to walk in. Prophetic, healing, mercy, women’s and children’s ministry, evangelism, worship and anointing of a seer. To dream dreams, to speak life to strangers and share the heart and love of my Savior with a lost generation. Time for me to break free of the chains that have bound me to the expectation of others. To the pain of their disapproval and my own inability to rise above every obstacle. Time to breakout of hopelessness, shame, fear and anxiety and start again to walk in faith. I hear the words…Seek me and find me…ask me and I will answer you…knock and doors will open. Goodbye fear of failure, goodbye anxiety, goodbye lack, less than, goodbye “what if” and other fear based questions. Instead let me embrace these thoughts daily. Hello hope. Be alive in me. Hello destiny. Hello Freedom from my own self limiting ways and doubt. I can feel prayer rising up in my spirit. Faith grow in me a fresh, faith rise up in me that my spirit would soar with the Eagles. Faith be a shield about me. Lord let your word be alive in me, and let me be alive in your word.”
I found myself drawn to start simple. Trying to read in Proverbs daily, then follow with anything the Lord puts on my heart. I learned so much in the early years by following Holy Spirit rabbit trails. I can trust him, the lover of my soul to lead me into all truth and the things I need to know. And so here the journey begins revived, renewed. A deep desire for more of Him. Let passion rise in me O’Lord.
I hear the words of an old Brian Doerkensen song. “Light the Fire again. Don’t let my love grow cold, I’m calling out light the fire again!”
Be inspired. If you’ve been stuck, afraid to fall or fail…Get up! Take up your mat and RUN! Your still alive and you can get your DO-OVERS! Game on Go!
Be blessed, you got this!